Sea Story 4

God must love the stupid, He's made so many of them. Whilst aboard the USS OMAHA I met one of the dumbest A-gangers that could walk. "Bruce" was the sort that always knew he was right, no matter what the facts. In the course of his short time aboard he managed to make one man in particular his nemesis; the XO (if you're gonna go, go big). One fine day the chief put Bruce in charge of loading amine. As anyone with more than two days assigned to A-gang knows you NEVER, NEVER directly pressurize a drum of amine with air. Not one to let common sense, the teachings of every auxiliaryman in the fleet and the boat's EDOM to stand in his way; our hero ran a 100 psi air line topside through the weapons shipping hatch and proceeded to glory. After cutting in the air he sprang an amine leak downstream of the drum. "Bruce" was anything but coolheaded under fire so he immediately shut the discharge line while still pressurizing the drum. Reliable sources claimed before it exploded the amine canister resembled a dark green balloon. As Murphy's Law would have it, the XO's pride and joy; his cherry red MG convertible, was parked on the pier directly parallel to the shipping hatch. With the top down. After all was said and done the genuine leather upholstery had more stains than Granny Clampett's teeth. The paint job was no cause for joy either. Years later I met the XO when he became the Commodore of the Squadron in La Madd while I was stationed there. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask how "Bruce" was doing, however I kept quiet. I don't mind being called crazy but I draw the line at "stupid". Pete Ahern